For many years, I was married to a man who spent money freely and charged whatever he could. I will not say that he was completely irresponsible because the mortgage was paid on time; we always had food; he worked everyday and made a good salary. And spent it.
For the most part, he spent it on computer equipment, software and manuals; he also bought brand new, hardcover books.
I had little disposable income during this time. I also had no idea of how much a lot of things cost, just that they cost more than what I had. Other people would go on vacations or buy cars. I remember once having to go to a used car lot and buy a car with nothing down and apply for a 5 year loan on 4 year old car with 50K miles on it.
I knew something was wrong, but my husband was uncooperative. He borrowed 20K from his 401K and paid off some credit cards...and then charged a 7000 dollar tractor on a Lowe's account. Now, we have a large yard, but a lawn mower would do, or even a smaller tractor, but no, this is a big top of the line one.
So, my husband dies after a long illness; the last year of his life was spent on long term disability, so our income went down.
Through some IRS rule, I did not have to pay the taxes and penalty on his 401K withdrawal.
I have a lot of mixed feelings about my husband and our finances. It was very stressful for me to live that way and it is unlikely I will ever get married again because of that experience. Now that my husband is gone, I control my finances. I put my bills into a folder and pay them once a month and look at them once a week. I have a savings account. If I want to go to the movie, it is factored into my budget. I am able to buy larger quantities of things to save money. Before, I had to buy the cheapest of anything (the small one). I never charge anything. I pay cash or use my debit card.
I really miss my husband but I do not miss the way our finances were handled. And I have a tractor.
A Dramatic Change
February 16th, 2008 at 08:15 am
February 16th, 2008 at 12:35 pm 1203165349
Sounds like you are doing great being your own best financial care giver!
Looking forward to getting to know you. You've found a nice place on the web here.
February 16th, 2008 at 03:07 pm 1203174444
February 16th, 2008 at 04:29 pm 1203179387
February 16th, 2008 at 05:16 pm 1203182171